Death Threats

Comments by Jonathan C. Chance are in RED.

These are only a sample of recent death threats. The earlier death threats were deleted as they were received. I now regret this. Just a liner

Concerning The Miraculous Winking Jesus:

Just a liner

"Fuck you, this doesn't deserve a place on the world wide web. No one is religious anymore. you are a fuckin loser. I will cut you up into little pieces and cook you, maybe even feed you to the poor. Maybe someone will wink at me and claim he's Jesus. if that happens, he better be puertarican or i'll go medival on his sorry ass."
Please don't over cook me - I tend to get a little chewy if over cooked.

Just a liner

"It is really stupid and should be burnt. Whoever created this stupid thing should die. If I ever find out who did this I will kill them. Write to me. My adress is Box 222, Entwistle, Alberta, T0E 0M0. I want to know who is behind this retarded website. (Signed Rory Wiens )"
I snail mailed this guy asking if he wanted to duel or was planning on shooting me in the back. Never got a reply.

Just a liner

"I will kill you and all who blaspheme the Lord Jesus Christ"
I bet you're a pro-lifer too! Killed any abortionists lately?

Just a liner

"All atheists should die, and I'm just the man to do it. Prepare to face me and the wrath of God."
My grandfather used to say, "Don't ASSUME, it makes an ASS out of U and ME." Who says I'm an atheist?

Just a liner

Concerning the HALLOWEEN pages:

From: Darklord

Arator, Lapidator, Omtato!
Somniator, Subaerfor, Iquator!
Signator, Sudator, Combustor!
Pugnator, Ductor, Seductor!
Comostor, Onerator!
Vos omnes ministri odey et destructiones,
et Serator discorde,
et qui libiter opera facitis et tractibus.
Quod eat noce!
Vos conjure idec nos conjuro et depecur
quod ministrare et consecrare ista imaginem
et odid fiat mier alve Jonathan Chance!

I get the feeling someone doesn't like me

Just a liner

From: Anon
"The mother goddess will strike you down"
I hear that's really not her M.O.

Just a liner

From Evil
"I curse you, you will die by the end of the next millenium."
The END of the NEXT millenium? Guess I have a long wait!

Just a liner

* I received a "death" curse from some witch. According to the curse, I will be dead by November the 10th 1996. This curse was very well written. I made a hard copy of it and lost it.

UPDATE 10/11/96

I am still alive. I have a mild case of hay fever, but my blood pressure and pulse are doing just fine. Thanks for caring. Jonathan C. Chance
UPDATE 11/11/96

Yipee! I made it! It's the day after I was supposed to die! I feel great! Not a problem in the world, expect maybe these "witches" placing all these EXTREMELY cruel curses on me.

UPDATE 12/11/96 - Final one for this curse

Thought I'd give you an extra month. She could have spelled December wrong or something. Still feel great. Very much alive!

Just a liner

** Since there is a %38 chance that some wacko might actually kill Jonathan C. Chance, Propaganda For The Paranoid is now accepting donations for funeral arrangements. In the event that Jonathan is killed, this web site will no longer exsist.

Cash, Check, or Money Order donations for funeral expenses should be mailed to:

Jonathan C. Chance
Memorial Fund
BOX 9291
Fort Worth, Texas

Just a liner

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